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She suggests that you ask yourself what’s fun about this for you, and remember to have fun.

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If someone I was dating were to fire off orders to me in our daily lives, I probably wouldn’t be thrilled. But when I am told to lie perfectly still or say something in particular or perform any host of commands in bed, I am instantly turned on. I did some research about the psychology behind such stimuli, and I talked to Hannah Green, a sex therapist in San Francisco, to find out more about what all this really means.“A person has a lot of different parts,” Green says.

This seems important, and I felt inspired to learn more.

It’s not pathological to have submissive fantasies — or to act them out.

“Our psyches are very wise, and know how to create balance,” she says.

Because of taboos, this type of thing can bring up fear and shame, “because people are used to being only certain parts of themselves,” Green says.

Let it go.“Sex is a place where we are giving of ourselves in a different way than in regular life,” Green says.

” ― “It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.” ― “So you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.”“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.

I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy, even in your submission.

It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The text comes by itself, and its meaning shakes the soul ...


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